"The Christmas season fills our hearts with gratitude for the many blessings in our lives, and with those blessings comes a responsibility to reach out to others," Bush said in his weekly radio address.

(retching noise)

Bush went onto clarify, "...that is, if you ain't one of them Christmas-hating heathen terrorists." Bill O'Reilly celebrated the day with a stack of porno DVDs Santa brought him for being such a good boy and saving Christmas. You see, because so many people were losing their faith in Santa Claus, Christmas almost DIDN'T HAPPEN. But luckily, O'Reilly stepped in at the last minute and all the little rich, white, Christian boys and girls all over the land got presents! Barbie dolls for the girls and fire trucks for the boys. No way in hell is little Johnny Womack getting that Easy Bake Oven he so wanted! Meanwhile, Carl Rove sharpened and shined his retractable horns, the met with Wolfowitz for a champagne lunch and review their plots...I mean, PLANS...for the coming year.

Merry Christmas, Iraq!

# posted by Silver Zephyr : 12/25/2004