I’m half way through SXSW and if it sounds like I’m not exactly thrilled by the experience, well, let’s just say that I haven’t been overly impressed. Wed. night, I saw two great bands – Smoosh and Enon. Though I was by myself for most of the evening (the lonely life of a badge holder), it wasn’t too shabby. I couldn’t get into Sleater Kinney as the line was around the block. Little did I know that was a warning for things to come. Last night started off all right. I headed to the Parish to see the Rosebuds, who were excellent and engaging and super fun, then left to check out Nordic Night, where I saw possibly one of the worst acts I’ve ever witnessed, a singer-songwriter from Scandinavia -- Tine Dico. Off to Emo’s for some crazy-ass punk/performance art/no-wave band from LA called Veronica Lipgloss and the Evil Eyes (just weird), to the Heartless Bastards (so-so). The next three places I went were at capacity. No one was getting in. No one was leaving. There were too many people.

I managed to get into Beerland to see a band I had no desire to see and were awful – the Paper Chase from Dallas. I talked to Donya for a bit then headed for the bathroom and that’s where my crankiness turned into anger. Written in my stall in huge letters next to a spot where Sarah had drawn a little cartoon apple and “Bad Apples” (probably about a year and a half ago) was “THE BAD APPLES AREN’T AN ALL GIRL BAND BECAUSE ANNA G. LOOKS LIKE A TRANSSEXUAL”. Well, initially, my reaction was, why would anyone bother to write something about me in a place where I hardly ever come about a band I was in a year ago? Then, I felt profoundly sad because whoever wrote that equated being a transsexual with an ultimate insult.

Some of you reading this know about Beth Westbrook from Ladyfest Texas, who died last summer. Beth was my introduction to transsexual culture and developing and understanding of the challenges she faced on a daily basis. I didn’t always have a great relationship with Beth and certainly we had some good times and some arguments, but she was open to any and all questions I had. It was a quite an education. She died of a ruptured appendix. Beth went to Seton and they told her she was fine and sent her home. She wasn’t. She fought off infections for weeks, but her body just couldn’t handle it. I felt as though they wrote her off as a person not deserving of medical treatment because of who she was. So seeing transsexual bandied about as though there could be nothing in the world more insulting than that hit me with a thud and my evening came grinding to a halt.

I understand that it may seem an overreaction. But taken into context (the fact that 6 or so really evil anti-abortion bills were filed in the Texas Legislature this week and Saturday is the second anniversary of our invasion of Iraq), I find it increasingly hard to be positive about the world -- and I desperately want to be. At least, I think, I can raise a child to be about everything the horrible war-mongering, women-hating (and really, self hating) Republican assholes aren’t. That’s why you – my friends – need to breed!

More SXSW tonite…and tomorrow…then the madness stops.