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Monday, May 02, 2005

I Am Cranky!!!

Things that irritate me:

1. People who still write checks at the store for purchases under $500. Okay, if you’re making a huge purchase, sure, write a check. But for those of you buying a trash can at Lowe’s, let me tell you about this little invention called the Check Card. It works like a credit card! But like a check! Special dispensation for those above 70 years old.

2. When the gym is too cold

3. Coffee grounds on the kitchen counter.

4. The Dairy Queen by my house never mixes my blizzard right. Nine times out of ten, all the Oreo is at the top of the blizzard and the rest is ice cream. How hard can this be? I’ve actually had to send ice cream back because of it’s poor construction before.

5. The Pecan Street Festival.

6. When people bring their dogs to hot, outdoor places with a lot of people like the Pecan Street Festival.

7. Hippies

8. Slow pee-ers.

9. When the people across the street from us park their car in their front yard.

10. Consistent lateness.

Leave the hippies alone. We mean well!
Why do WASPafarians wear that hideous patchouli oil to cover up their own, unwashed smell? As Patton Oswalt says "It smells like dirt f*cked by a hobo."
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